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rp number: 02  record: 00-00-00

next match: singles match for last spot in intercontinental tournament
carlito vs. cm punk

Fade up the IPW logo.

The scene opens up in a small room. There's two people in the room.. One is sitting, and the other is pacing around. The person sitting is Jesus, Carlito's bodyguard. So that would make the person pacing back and forth Carlito himself. Yep, that's it.

" Tellin' you somethin' Jesus .. Dis' ain't good. "

" Carlito, you're overreacting again. I told you he didn't mean it that way! "

" Carlito didn't overreact! overreacting ain't cool..  And Carlito .. Carlito is cool. But according to CM Punk ... Carlito is something else, too. "

Carlito shakes his head and stops. He puts his hands on his hips wondering about something. Jesus stands up and walks to Carlito.

" I'm telling you he didn't mean it that way... And if he did look who's talking, right? The dude has a pepsi logo as a tattoo, now how fruity is that? "

Carlito nods his head.

" Yer right, yer right... Pepsi tattoo.. Now das' not only uncool... Das' feminine stuff right there. CM Punk says Straight Edge means he's better den' Carlito .. Nobody is better den' Carlito .. Carlito will show CM Punk soon. Watch and see Jesus .. Watch and see. "

A door opens up and out walks two men.

" Okay, Ken... You come back tomorrow and we'll continue what we were speaking about just now. And remember, everything will be alright. Anyway... Carlito is it? You're next. Come on in. "

The one guy walks off and the other one walks back into the room he came from. Carlito and Jesus walks to the door, where the man looks and then stops them.

" Sorry, no more than one person can be in here at the same time with me. It's just a policy, besides, only getting paid by one person here. "

Carlito turns to Jesus.

" It's ok Jesus... Carlito will handle dis' alone. See you after... "

Jesus walks back to his chair and sits, a bit disappointed. Carlito walks in and he closes the door.

" Okay, Carlito ... Have a seat or you can lay down, whichever makes you most comfortable. "

Carlito walks to a chair and sits and the man does as well.

" Okay, we're ready. I'm Dr. Foltz but you can call me Richard if you prefer. I'm reading here that your problem is that you think it's possible that you're .. Uhm, well, a homosexual? "

Carlito stands up and is angered by the doctor's comments.

" What?! Who said dat?! Carlito is not homosexual... Carlito likes da ladies! "

" Okay, okay, calm down sir .. Take a deep breath and a seat. "

Carlito breaths in and then out, and then sits.

" Okay, so .. What's the problem? "

" Okay, okay... It's like dis... Carlito is a wrestler in da' IPW. The best one ever, he might add... But dere's dis wrestler CM Punk who think he's better den Carlito. Like dat can happen... Nobody is better den Carlito! "

The therapist eyes widen up.. He can't believe what Carlito is telling him, and is well, quite confused to say the least.

" And the other night .. He said dat the reason he's better den' Carlito is because he's .. straight .. edge. Carlito don't know what dat means man... Because CM Punk.. never makes any sense. But den Carlito got it.. Carlito listened to him a few more times .. and Carlito knows CM Punk thinks he's .. straight .. and Carlito .. is not. "

The therapist nods his head as he's writing this all down. Of course, he still thinks Carlito is crazy.

" I see... go on. "

" Carlito wants to know why .. CM Punk thinks he's gay. I mean don't get me wrong, Rich... Carlito have no problem with gay people.. Well other den' the fact dey aren't as cool as Carlito .. But still .. Carlito is not gay. Carlito don't like guys... He like apples ... But not dose' kind!! "

" Uh, wow... That's just .. This is definitely a first. I've never had a .. man like yourself come in and question whether he's a homosexual or not based on someone's opinion... Or.. rather, not think he's a homosexual but still be effected by this other man's comments. Perhaps he's correct though, Carlito. Have you ever thought of that? "

" What do you mean correct?! "

" I mean, maybe the reason you think he's calling you.. In your own words.. Not straight, is because well.. You're not. So you've came to me to find out if you are or if you are not. Correct?  "

" Uh .. Carlito likes women! "

" Are you married? "

" No, Carlito is not married. "

" Girlfriend? "

" Girlfriend? Carlito don't have time for a girlfriend... Carlito is a wrestler .. He's too busy beating his opponents. "

Richard stands up and walks around his desk and sits on it. He nods his head.

" Ahh, I see. So you're a wrestler without a wife or a girlfriend. "

" Das' right.. Das' the way Carlito likes it! "

" You do understand though, that you're not with a woman... And you prefer to be with other sweaty men? You prefer to bodyslam other males instead of sleeping with a woman. "

" WHAT?! "

" Calm down... Calm down. Maybe this... CM Punk guy is right, you know? Maybe he is married, or has a girlfriend. That's why he feels the need to call himself Straight Edge, and you're not. I think this guy has a point now that I think of it. Maybe we should call him in and we can settle this once and for all? "

Carlito is angered and he stands up... Uh oh, what is he gonna do?

" You think CM Punk is right?! Das not cool .. Das VERY... VERY.. UNCOOL! Carlito says.. dat .. dat .. you're wrong! "

Nice one Carlito.

" Well, based on what you told me Carlito .. That's how it seems. Care to explain some more then? Maybe you should tell me more about this match with CM Punk. Why is it so important to you? "

" Carlito can do dat... Dis match is important because it's only the beginning.. of Carlito's great career with IPW.  When Carlito beats CM Punk.. He's gonna be in da' intercontinental tournament. A tournament he's gonna win... A tournament that will give Carlito... what he wants.. and das' da gold. Once Carlito has dat' title around his waist, Rich.. He's gonna be known as da' best champion in the whole IPW .. And das' cool. "

The therapist begins writing more notes down as Carlito is talking.

" You know ... Champions are cool. Think about it, man... NBA .. Da' Lakers were great champions.. Baseball .. dey' got the Yankee's .. Da' Redsox ... NFL ... dey' got .. ahh, who cares.. You know why Carlito says that? Because no matter who da' champion is... Football champions .. Baseball Champions .. Dey ain't better den' Carlito! Because Carlito, whenever he's da champion... He's better den any of the great champion of all time! CM Punk on da' other hand .. He's not better den of any them. Carlito is known world wide as da' best champion ever.. as da first ever APW champion .. as the WWE United States Champion .. and da' WWE Intercontinental Champion .. What is CM Punk known for? Nothin' at all .. hell .. most people don't know who CM Punk is! And dat only means one thing... CM Punk .. he's below all da' great champions .. he's below .. Carlito... Caribbean.. Cool! "

The therapist is still writing things down.. Although, still thinking Carlito is quite.. strange.

" You think Carlito bodyslams sweaty wrestlers... and he enjoys dat? Nah .. Carlito don't do it .. because of da guys .. of da males .. Carlito beats his opponent because he can. Because it's his job .. It's the way he gets to be da best.. as for da ladies .. Dey all get their time to be with Carlito, believe me.. Carlito gets all the ladies he wants and he wins his matches.. And das' better den anything CM Punk has. He's Straight Edge.... Well Carlito is Straight... and Carlito wins.. Das' what he does for a living! and das' why .. Carlito is better den him! But you know what... Rich... Das not the only reasons Carlito is better den' CM Punk... Dere's a real big one that stands out .. more than any of dem'. "

" And what is that, Carlito? "

Carlito stands up and takes an apple out of his pocket.. He begins walking up to the desk.

" Carlito .... is .... Cool! CM Punk isn't cool .. And dat angers Carlito .. Because Carlito spits in da' face of people who don't want to be cool! "

" Is that so? Well, I don't consider myself cool, Carlito. I consider myself a very good doctor and a great therapist. I help a lot of people without being cool. "

Carlito smirks and looks around.

" Is dat so? Den' Carlito has an offer for you... dat you can't refuse. After Carlito is done .. beating da' hell out of his opponent CM Punk... and proving to him dat he's not straighter .. and he's not better den' carlito .. Carlito wants you.. to help .. CM Punk... "

" As long as he pays. "

" Oh CM Punk will pay... trust Carlito ... CM Punk will pay a whole lot .. Now it's time for Carlito pay you. "

Carlito takes some money out of his pocket and throws it on his desk.

" .. And since you put Carlito in a better mood ... Carlito will give you a tip .. "

" Now that's just wonderful. See, you don't have to be cool to be good at my job. "

" ... Das' what you think .... "

Carlito bites his apple.. and then spits it in the doctor's face!!! What disrespect!


Carlito walks out of the office and meets back up with Jesus.

" So what's the update, boss?!? You a fudgepacker now? Ha Ha Ha... "

Carlito stops... And he looks to Jesus with an angry face. Now that wasn't a smart comment at all.

" Das it.... Yer' walkin' again. "

Carlito walks out of the room and Jesus shakes his head and looks down. Oh well... The camera fades off now.


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